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Tiptoe Through the Tulips

Over the years I have exercised various careers, one of which was related to horticulture. Given that a plant is unable to speak, nurturing requires great insight. One thing I learned is that in most cases, plants cannot be cured of disease by any topical methods; they require a complete systemic cleansing.

In many ways our human makeup is much like a plant. Our issues are repetitive because they are systemic. In order to get to the root of how we become diseased, we diagnose the condition by what is being manifested. Let’s take a look at how we tiptoe through the tulips in our own garden and how the mind goes about creating chaos in order to meet our six basic human needs, which are

  1. CERTAINTY – Certainty that we can be comfortable – to have pleasure and to avoid pain.
  2. UNCERTAINTY/VARIETY – Variety and challenges which will exercise our emotional and physical range.
  3. SIGNIFICANCE – Every person needs to feel special, important, needed, wanted.
  4. LOVE/CONNECTION – Everyone needs connection with other human beings and everyone strives for and hopes for love.
  5. GROWTH – When we stop growing , we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.
  6. CONTRIBUTION – To go beyond your own needs and give to others. Everything in the universe contributes beyond itself or it is eliminated.

Although all of us have the same basic needs, we can choose to meet them in positive or negative ways. You can meet your need for significance by being courageous and creating a life of your dreams. Or you can fill this need by focusing on a problem that you are not able to solve.

So then if you were the doctor of your own condition, how would you begin to recognize that a larger issue you are sweeping under the rug produces your headache? As a life coach, I often see many physical ailments that show up as a result of our failure to handle emotional issues in our everyday life. When left unmanaged, these issues compound over a period of time, gradually wearing down our body’s ability to combat the insurmountable pain we have unknowingly inflicted upon it.

You may be asking, “How would I unknowingly inflict my own pain?” Well it’s what we don’t know or pay attention to that hurts us the most. In other words, what we are oblivious to (the forces that act within our subconscious) affects us mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The mind has learned to create an “illusion,” whereby hiding within its depth the problems we deal with every day. Generation after generation has faced the effects of an overactive mind racing to some perceived finish line where we see ourselves as good enough, significant, smart, and successful, along with myriad other images conforming to the mirror within our mind. As a mother, I am increasingly concerned about one particular generation: our youth.

Our younger generation holds my attention for a number of reasons, one of which is the topic of connection. While it is true that the Internet has opened a vast window through which we can interact with the world at large, it has also changed the dynamic and the quality of our interactions. Perhaps I am naïve or maybe even live in my own little bubble, but what I have been able to observe about our children and young adults is that they have an expectation that life operates by the flick of a switch. When they recognize that life, in fact, is not that mystical character in a video game or a stream of answers bombarding their senses, they often panic. This panic gives rise to a whole new host of issues never before seen in prior generations. In order to alleviate the pressures, young adults are resorting to a number of substances, including the use of cannabis, as a method of escaping their reality. More of these young people are also taking uncalculated risks with drugs that are not yet regulated and attaining them at the most inconspicuous locations. Drugs such as bath salts and Dragonfly, both of which have claimed the lives of many, are just two simple examples.

What seems to be the root cause for such disproportionate balance in the minds of these generations? Well, the truth is I don’t know with any certainty, but I do have a fairly good idea. Having personally walked the plank coerced by the delusional thoughts of my own subconscious mind, I fully comprehend how it is possible to get lost inside one’s head. What often appears to be a momentary mood swing is without doubt a systemic issue neatly stowed inside our mental hard drive, and these are called core beliefs.

Core beliefs are the long-standing views that we hold about other people, the world, the future, and most of all, ourselves. Beliefs are how we make sense of the world. They become implanted into our operating systems by way of personal experience and our narrow interpretation during a particular period in our lives. Most core beliefs become entrenched in our minds during our formative years when the mind was impressionable and unable to censor the data. What this means is that right or wrong, from that point forward, we learn to proceed using the instructions our thoughts offer based on the idea we previously conjured as true. Over the years we rarely consider stopping to defrag or run virus protector against notions conceived under tainted data. As a result, we have a growing population that heavily consumes antidepressants and is totally oblivious about how they arrived at such a state of hopelessness.

The greatest lesson I was offered 13 years ago cultivated my ability to find the lies about myself, others, and life that I had stowed away within my subconscious. Through the years I have observed how easy it is for the mind to shift to the complete opposite from who a person is at their core. Pushed by simple yet unresolved issues, the mind tends to elaborate and become a vicious, incessant locomotive on the tracks to self-destruction, alienating us from conventional wisdom. Learning to demystify my beliefs and face reality was one of the most rewarding and empowering practices I have ever engaged in. Since then, I have made it not only my business to learn about the many ways the mind lies to us, but I have also committed to propagating the knowledge for others to benefit from it. It is my hope that you will take a moment and consider what I have to say as seriously as I embrace the transformational gifts this lesson brought into my life.

The powers of the mind are impressive, and combined with some rigorous attention to the slightest details, it can turn a can of sardines into an imperial feast of conscious activity liberating our fears and negative emotions. It is out of this feast that I personally enrich my mind and soul, finding the courage to speak to others about how they too can embark on this journey of discovery and ultimately leave their shackles behind. Studies show that pharmaceutical treatment augmented by psychotherapy using either Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are most effective. In some cases CBT and REBT alone will suffice.
As a society we can no longer turn a blind eye to the issues our young generations are facing. We must proactively study new methods of stress management and belief recognition leading into personal accountability, awareness, and ultimately higher self-esteem. It is up to us as a conscious society to step up to the plate and recognize the ogre knocking at our door. As time progresses, this is not bound to get any easier; in fact, with many lobbying to make cannabis legal, the problem could grow exponentially. While cannabis is being prescribed to alleviate intolerable pain for many, it also acts as a precursor for people with a genetic predisposition to mental illness. So, essentially, allowing cannabis to be acquired legally will solve one problem only to be replaced by a greater one.

If you knew how to shrink your physical and emotional pain by self-observation, would you? In that case I suggest you take a look at how you tiptoe through the tulips in your own life so you may gain insight to reclaim the power that has been there since you stepped foot into this world. Your body will thank your for it.

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